I wake up. A splitting headache plagues me from the night before.

But that’s not what woke me. 

We were in a beautiful chateau somewhere in the middle of whoknowswhere.

We were making small talk with the owners, two older women whose life dream it was to put together this quaint getaway complete with an open floor of beautifully adorned ponies. 

We were discussing our evening meal choices, while he and I were smiling, making jokes with them, settling in. Suddenly he is behind me, strong and powerful rubbing up against me, and it is Him, Us, we are together again, it had been so long, but now it is true, finally and really true. I turn to him and he whispers a sweet something in my ear. My flesh is burning for him, my pussy aches for him, it has been years, decades even, since my long time boyfriend, my first real love, and I were together, and every so often he had entered – my dreams.

And now, here he was in the flesh, but it wasn’t just a fleeting moment, this was our life, our new life together, and I hadn’t remembered being this excited about anything at all. I turn to him and whisper under my breath, “should we pretend we need a nap?” and just as eagerly he nods, “definitely.”

I run up the stairs. There are endless stairs in this chateau. My body tingling with a rush of heat. Feeling like a little girl whose deepest wish is finally coming true. I am huffing and puffing now, but keep climbing the stairs, when will the stairs end? I reach the pony stable and look around, lost, defeated. I ask someone and she points up. I see 3 bedrooms upstairs. I run up and someone points to ours. It is small, cozy, but it is all we need. Then I realize he isn’t there. Eagerly and impatiently, I lean out and call his name. By default, and by some kind of cruel joke from the universe, my husband’s name comes out. But it doesn’t matter. The sentiment’s the same – whatever name is uttered.

Then, suddenly, he reemerges. He peeks his head out of the pony stable, and I realize he is riding a pony. For a second all kinds of naughty bareback scenarios come to my mind, and me in a gymnastics split, or leg up in the air hovers over his body as if I could just float from the railing and land in the perfect position with a lovely pirouette. “Abandon the pony,” I command, sultry and very clear. He does just that. His footsteps are thumping up the stairs and I can almost taste his breath as I hear his footsteps sprint. Almost as loud as my heart. Badaboom badaboom badaboom. Closer. He is getting closer. My body is aching. My heart beating out of my chest. So close. So close. So many years of desire, of longing, and here he is. Here he comes! I hear the creak of the door, and in a moment he will be here, with me on me in me, my beautiful wild knight from long ago, ready to make mad wild passionate love touch lick fuck scream…  my body dripping with anticipation….

I wake up.

A hint of tingle hums between my legs. 

A terrible and profound disappointment sweeps through me.

I lay still. Stunned.

The morning sun shines in. 

Time to homeschool.